Buying Nylons Is Like Doing Complex Algebra. Helene Angley

24 Th10, 2020
38 017 lượt xem

Buying nylons is like doing complex algebra especially if you're as tall as Helene Angley. Whether you're stretching out a new pair of nylons, or just trying to fins a pair that fit Helene Angley's description of nylon shopping is sure to keep you laughing from beginning to end. Watch "Queen Size" by Helene Angley only at
If you enjoyed this clip from Helene Angley be sure to check out the links below for more Dry Bar Comedians you might enjoy!
Erica Rhodes
Kim Kerley
Jenna Kim Jones
Want More Dry Bar Comedy?
Check us out on our other social media channels.

  • I wear pantyhose to keep ticks off at the ranch and jellyfish from stinging surf fishing.

    Ferengi profiteerFerengi profiteer21 ngày trước
  • Funny.....

    Patricia WilliamsPatricia Williams24 ngày trước
  • I have the same problem as Helene

    Non participant BreakdownNon participant Breakdown26 ngày trước
  • Hilarious and so true!😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣

    Shar MeShar Me26 ngày trước
  • I’m 5’4 the waistband is ALWAYS like that for me!!!

    Nonnie335Nonnie33528 ngày trước
  • Going into war to put nylons on LOL, reminds me of laying on the bed trying to get a pair of Jordash jeans on. Laying the bed, the edge, sucking stomach in, using a hanger to pull the zipper up!!! Lol!!!

    Cathlene RomainCathlene Romain29 ngày trước
  • Love the ending! Just about fell out of my chair laughing!

    Clifford S.Clifford S.29 ngày trước
  • Nobody needs to go home to google something. There are these weird things called smartphones. Look into it.

    Garrett LowellGarrett Lowell29 ngày trước
    • Some people don’t have unlimited data sir

      Non participant BreakdownNon participant Breakdown26 ngày trước
  • The struggle is real!

    Tracy RainTracy Rain29 ngày trước
  • Totally for real! 😂

    rocko jazzyrocko jazzy29 ngày trước
  • Very funny!!

    Eric HowryEric HowryTháng trước
  • 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️lol girl you is crazy I love this

    kathy kelleykathy kelleyTháng trước
  • I feel sorry for any men in her audience, completely unrepeatable, typical.🤦‍♂️

    Hershel WeaverHershel WeaverTháng trước
    • @Hershel Weaver I agree.

      Kurt E. ClothierKurt E. Clothier29 ngày trước
    • @Kurt E. Clothier yeah that's true, but it's just not funny

      Hershel WeaverHershel Weaver29 ngày trước
    • If any man has a wife or girlfriend that wears pantyhose, or heck, even a mother, I think it's relatable.

      Kurt E. ClothierKurt E. Clothier29 ngày trước
    • I meant completely unrelatable

      Hershel WeaverHershel WeaverTháng trước
  • William Shatner once said that he wore pantihose when riding horses because it reduced chafing.

    Robin HaysRobin HaysTháng trước
  • "I'm not ooon the graaaph!"😆

    *Tantrika Exotica**Tantrika Exotica*Tháng trước
  • There's a lot of truth in there! 🤣 It's like stuffing a wild boar into a water bottle. 🤣 I like tights better in the winter. They're warmer, easier to put on, and don't run.

    Melissa BigMacMelissa BigMacTháng trước
  • I gave up on panty hose decades ago. They aren't really all THAT warm, and they run WAY too easily. I prefer tights or long johns for keeping my legs warm. The long johns work great under pants. And the tights are great for skirts and dresses. The tights even come in fleece lined for extra cold weather.😉 Pro tights trick for tall women: Buy two pairs. Cut the legs off of one pair just above the knees. Cut the legs off the other half way up the thighs. Using a stretch stitch or a zig zag stitch, sew the longer legs on the bottom of the pair cut at the knees (this works best on a free arm sewing machine). That way you can make the tights as long as necessary, without having to buy them too big around for your waist. Just make sure the seam is high enough on your leg that it won't show out from under your skirt. Unfortunately this trick does NOT work with hose, they run to easily. I discovered this trick when my granddaughter went through a growth spurt, and the tights her mom sent for school the next day were too short. I sewed a length of an old a sleeve in the gap to make them longer. Worked like a charm!

    Julie BakerJulie BakerTháng trước
    • Great tip! Thanks!

      MariSMariSTháng trước
  • When you find a size that works for you, buy as many of them as you can. Because when you go back to purchase more they won’t have your size. 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

    DIG65DIG65Tháng trước
  • Lol what on earth.

    mikeala leemikeala leeTháng trước
  • Took me a while to figure out that she meant hose when she was saying nylons. Who even wears them any more???

    Janus LogginsJanus LogginsTháng trước
    • @Janus Loggins Watch the show - she was obviously talking about pantyhose. Didn't the whole crotch thing clue you in? I'm a guy and I understood it.

      RedRedTháng trước
    • @KT’s Neighbor Sure pantyhose I understand! But nylons??? Didn't they hold them up with a garter belt?

      Janus LogginsJanus LogginsTháng trước
    • Old ladies like me. My legs are white, and lumpy and bumpy and veiny. Pantyhose hides all of that.

      KT’s NeighborKT’s NeighborTháng trước
  • So funny!!! I was laughing outloud. Shebis great!!!

    Joey CallahanJoey CallahanTháng trước
  • I feel that the joke is out of context. Is there a whole stand up video on the channel so that I can watch the whole thing?

    PinkBeardPinkBeardTháng trước
    • The dry bar comedy app has the whole special commercial free.

      carschmncarschmnTháng trước
  • ♥️👏😆

    Tom ArchibaldTom ArchibaldTháng trước
  • I laughed so hard when she showed the waistband at the end!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Mein NameMein NameTháng trước
  • Love the ladies that get messy like us but always keep the hint of being a women 😂 That's a keeper 😉

    StarScream 777StarScream 777Tháng trước
  • Some people in the comment section and the thumbs down have no sense of humor at all!

    The One and only Pinky PinkyThe One and only Pinky PinkyTháng trước
  • Way too frantic to find funny... I was worried about her heart the whole time.

    Dillan EdwardsDillan EdwardsTháng trước
    • Yep! Too stressful to watch. Cut out after a minute Lol

      SandroidSandroidTháng trước
  • That's why there's queen sized nylon lol 🙈

    Dare JonesDare JonesTháng trước
    • Don’t buy Tall. The feet are THAT long.

      Kathy YoungKathy Young12 ngày trước
  • Nylons?! They went out in the 80’s!!! 😂🤣😂

    T RulyT RulyTháng trước
    • Their demise varied based on setting. As recently as the early to mid-2000's, it was considered unprofessional to appear in court bare-legged (at least in the conservative area where I work). The older ladies would look at you like some kind of tramp if you didn't wear hose.

      Melissa BlackwoodMelissa BlackwoodTháng trước
  • I remember you 😁😁😁😁 we hooked up to at the swingers after bash 🤒😎😎😎 want your dentures back ¡!¡???!!!😜😜😜😜😜😜

    Ljw ReynoldsLjw ReynoldsTháng trước
  • Hilarious!

    Saloni JiwanSaloni JiwanTháng trước
  • Oh my goodness, do they even make nylons with feet in them anymore? I'm 49 years old! I want to look like a lovely lady, not one of those teeny boppers!

    Dawn LapkaDawn LapkaTháng trước
  • 😂 Wild! 😂

    R.S. MendozaR.S. MendozaTháng trước
  • When she pulled her shirt up, I just about died laughing. Been there...

    MariSMariSTháng trước
    • Me too! Tall girl. Nylons were not made for us. Im not sure who they are made for.

      traczebabetraczebabe21 ngày trước
    • Me too!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

      A HA HTháng trước
  • 😂🤣😂🤣😭😭

    prissyscottprissyscottTháng trước
  • That was f****** funny

    Kaiserin1Kaiserin1Tháng trước
  • Oh my gosh sooooo funny

    Terri DrollingerTerri DrollingerTháng trước
  • It’s okay to laugh when people make fun of old jewish men...right? Please don’t unperson me jewish overlords. ;)

    N8errificN8errificTháng trước
  • As a tall girl myself, I can appreciate this so much. She is hilarious!!

    MadriFilmArtMadriFilmArtTháng trước
    • I'm short and chunky, but I gotta admit, I have the same problems she did, and I laughed, too😋

      Dawn LapkaDawn LapkaTháng trước
  • You gotta put your underwear on the outside to hold them up 😂😂😂😂😂

    Kia828Kia828Tháng trước
    • Been there!

      Simmie Davis simmie singsSimmie Davis simmie singsTháng trước
    • Yes!!! Gotta get that super hero action going on! 🤣

      Kelli ThomasKelli ThomasTháng trước
  • Totally wonderful!

    Cynthia TinglerCynthia TinglerTháng trước
  • THAT Was so true and I laughed so hard when she showed the waist band.

    Mea FrenchieMea FrenchieTháng trước
  • She reminds me of that one funny aunt every family has.

    Heasie InvestsHeasie InvestsTháng trước
    • I'm that Aunt.

      Dãndy LiõnDãndy LiõnTháng trước
  • 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    MaRa EickermannMaRa EickermannTháng trước
  • She is hilarious! Queen size for me.... So true! 🤣🤣🤣

    Anita J in FLAAnita J in FLATháng trước
  • Lol lol so true!

    Zenobia unknownZenobia unknownTháng trước
  • Hilarious

    Hirsch nopeHirsch nopeTháng trước
  • Women aren't usually funny but she is. I can see her on a sitcom someday.

    BrettBrettTháng trước
    • @Anton he is just an incel loser

      neolithic3neolithic3Tháng trước
    • So male comedians are automatically hilarious? You're either a misogynist or a troll, hope it's the latter.

      AntonAntonTháng trước
    • I’m calling you out for being genderist, Brett. Not cool to generalise along male / female lines (even if the internet was positive, to give a compliment). I have a daughter, sisters and a wife. I will not accept any man telling them what they are, or what they can or cannot be. Your comment is faulty and out of place. Let’s Stop chauvinism

      Eldon PhukuileEldon PhukuileTháng trước
    • @sable witch he's just some incel that hates women and wants attention so he posts some BS about women not being funny. Basically, he's a loser.

      neolithic3neolithic3Tháng trước
    • @N8errific She didn't say "can't be", she quoted him and said "aren't." 😂

      melissa saintmelissa saintTháng trước
  • SO freaking true ...

    Jen JosephJen JosephTháng trước
  • Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    Superman MVPSuperman MVPTháng trước
  • Wow she is GREAT

  • She's hilarious. It's so true about pantyhose. They never fit properly.. ever.! 😄

    Nena ElliottNena ElliottTháng trước
    • Or it fits the first 20 minutes, then either: the crotch starts travelling to my knees or the legs stretch out and start bagging at the ankles.

      Wendy MullerWendy Muller29 ngày trước
    • @Nena Elliott well I'm not rhat old...i beliece its still the shortness. But I'm so glad to be done with the 80's...hated stockings!!

      flamingpie hermanflamingpie hermanTháng trước
    • Every time I used to oit them on in the 80’s I snagged them!! I didn’t think they made those things anymore!!

      T RulyT RulyTháng trước
    • @Nena Elliot I'm laughing just as hard at "pantryhose". You can only wear those in the kitchen. 😂

      Jen RJen RTháng trước
    • I had a real battle today. Good timing on this one!

      Kathleen NortonKathleen NortonTháng trước
  • When I did medical support for the US Army Ranger school, I knew many soldiers who wore nylons under their uniforms . Staying warm is ok.

    Jorge LopezJorge LopezTháng trước
    • keeps leaches off too.

      Okami_No _HeishiOkami_No _Heishi28 ngày trước
    • Sure beats hypothermia.

      Okami_No _HeishiOkami_No _Heishi28 ngày trước
    • If you can get them big enough, the thick ribbed kind are great in the winter without adding too much bulk.

      Terence JayTerence JayTháng trước
    • I had heard they helped keep spiders, chiggers, and ticks from bitting one's legs. I doubt it was from the Service.

      Michael HartmanMichael HartmanTháng trước
    • Because military allows the gays

      DerWutendeMetzgerDerWutendeMetzgerTháng trước
  • Hahaha, too true. The waistband at the end - LMAO!

    sdraper2011sdraper2011Tháng trước
  • She must've never been trying her "height" on Non-Associative Algebra; where as 1*(2+3) does NOT equal to (1*2) + 3

    Ahmad AhmadAhmad AhmadTháng trước
    • Everyone, I was just making a joke here! For fun: Imagine vectors in *three-dimensional space* , where you do *cross-product* on vectors. Let's symbolize each vector distinctly as, *1* , *2* , *3* Doing cross-product on vectors *1* , and *2* is denoted by : 1+2 Respectively, vectors *2* and *3* as 2+3 Thus, GENERALLY, ( *1* + *2* ) + *3* doesNOT equal to *1* + ( *2* + *3* ) I was making this instance in accordance with her peculiar usage of phrase : *complex algebra* , which can also mean doing algebra in *complex numbers field* So, employing math nomenclature is a great thing for comedian; though it may raise to different level of interpretation, in which the actual *joke* resides

      Ahmad AhmadAhmad AhmadTháng trước
    • @Matthew Dutson you Are absolutely correct. They do both equal 5 in these 2 cases.

      Stephanie GrootenhuisStephanie GrootenhuisTháng trước
    • I don't understand. I thought both of those equations equaled 5... However, if any other number than 1 was used, then they would infact be different...?

      Matthew DutsonMatthew DutsonTháng trước
    • I must be a nerd, as well. Math, stats, data. That's basic high school algebra. I'm over 60 years old, and your equation made perfect sense to me. The two answers? 5 and 6. Let the haters hate. So what? You just be you. It's how our brains are wired. Know what Barack Obama, the Dali Lama, Oprah and Einstein have in common? We're all left handed. You?

      Major Old Lady aka, MomMajor Old Lady aka, MomTháng trước
    • I took applied math 1&2 I never had to mess with letters in my math. Mine was add minus divide times numbers no letters

      Michael SmithMichael SmithTháng trước